Max: I guess they call these K-9 Crooked Houses a “dog house.”
Aug: I thought a dog house was where my toys, rope, and dog bones were.
Max: Nope. That's what you call a “Human House” or “Property.” But you can put all of your favorite things into a dog house.
Aug: ROWF!!!! I thought Property was MY house. What's a dog house?
Max: It's a lot like a Human House, but it's smaller, and has no cable TV.
Aug: Cable TV is NatGeo Wild Channel, right? I love the birds and squirrels on that one.
Max: Yes. That's it. That's the channel that has animals we want to eat and animals we are terrified of. I even saw a cat that I didn't want to chase on NatGeo. It was HUUUUUUGE!
Aug: No way. You're trying to scare me.
Max: Regardless...these dog houses are brightly colored, and the windows have all kinds of crazy angles that look like a human house after I hit my head on the underside of the table when I'm looking for all the potato chip crumbs after a party at the Human House.
Aug: You're too fat to do that anymore!!!! Those crumbs are MINE!!!!
Max: Such a whelp!!! ----Slaps Aug's Head----
Aug: ROWWWR!!! ----Bites Max's lip----
Max: Anyway.....These houses are big enough to give a large, powerful dog like myself-- or a small wimpy whelp like you a good long nap. And that nap can be away from kids wanting to poke fingers in our ears and eyes-- and Dog knows what else. It would be our Safe Place, Aug. That's a GOOD thing.
Aug: You shall regret your “wimpy whelp” comment, sir. I will see to it. And I will never share such short quarters with a behemoth like you, I assure you.
Max: We don't have to, Auggie. They make both a “Grande” for me, and a “Mini” for you. (He He, Mini)
Aug: Grrrr.....
Max: And you should be happy with your bare and cold floor, while I get one with a plush all-weather cushion.
Aug: BARK!!!! Grrr.......
Max: YELP!!!!!!!!!