The Harbor Dog Stories
Come on an adventure with the shop dogs of Two Salty Dogs as they spin you a yarn about life as a dog on the Boothbay Harbor waterfront.
THE ZEN OF ZINNY - by Don
So they did what any reptile lacking empathy did. They abandoned her in an alien, dangerous, and terrifying place and forgot all about her. I hate those cowards. The fact that they probably picked up a breeding dog on the way home after abandoning Zinny to keep the pup-money coming in made me furious....
K9 GUMSHOE - by Fudgie
Hi everyone!!! I'm Marz! I live at Chez Salty and I work at Two Salty Dogs Pet Outfitters in Boothbay Harbor!! I'm the best greeter in the whole state of Maine!!!! Even better than Wal-Mart!! Those greeter don't even shove their snouts in customer's crotches!!! That's pretty lame!!! You're a customer for Dog's Sake!...
ONCE THE HUNTER, STILL THE HUNTER - by Auggie
Tis true I hung my writing regalia up in February with my swan song, "It was the Best of Times, It was the End of Times." Like my hero Douglas MacArthur, I have returned, and I am now enjoying a significant period of respair, and shan't againwend for so much as a tinker's cuss. ...
A TWO SALTY DOGS SPECIAL REPORT: THE GREATEST THREAT TO AMERICA - by Don
Some will tell you the biggest threat to America is corporate greed. Others tell you assuredly that it is the decay of moral values. Then there's our shape-shifting reptilian overlords, manipulative cabals of financial and political power on the murky sidelines, pulling all the puppet strings. And don't forget the aliens: relentlessly cavity-probing us...
GRAVEL PIT OF DREAMS - by Marz
Don has to keep Auggie and Zinny out of The Pit!!! They're so old they can't get back up!! They get stuck in there!! One time Zinny got stuck in the sand and couldn't get back up, so we all had to go down and wade through a bunch of smelly, green, scum water...
A SARCASTIC PRIMER IN SARCASM - by Don
Email your very own responses to all 20 scenarios herein for a chance to win a $50 Gift Certificate to Two Salty Dogs Pet Outfitters. Responses will be gauged mostly on whether or not you are subscribed to our monthly newsletter, sarcasm, creativity, understanding of the English language, sarcasm, and obsequiousness. And sarcasm.
A WEE NY TEST - by Don (Repost)
After reading this delightful Manhattan Socialite’s hilarious send up of Maine, I got to thinking mayhap a Mainer should respond in kind to the waves and waves of sophisticated and culturally aware New Yorkers inundating our fair shores every summer. That’s when I got to work creating “The Test.” It is a free, simple,...
DO LITTLE DREAMS - by Marz
Don is my very best friend!! He talks to me all the time!! If I had one wish from the Great Black Dog, it would be that we could understand each other all the time!!! I think he talks about some interesting stuff!! Post-Breakfast Prattle Don: “These tariffs are going to make our Toy...
SKIBIDI - by Zinny
I'm Zinnia. Mmmm... Hmmmm... Like I'm only writing this because Liana said I had to. Don't come at me if there's lots of typos. I hate skool. Skool is for Spastic Nerfdogs. I'm Zinnia, the new dog at Chez Salty, mmm-hmmm. I'm the ONLY girl dog, AND I'm the ONLY yellow dog. That's a...