The Harbor Dog Stories
Come on an adventure with the shop dogs of Two Salty Dogs as they spin you a yarn about life as a dog on the Boothbay Harbor waterfront.
A TWO SALTY DOGS SPECIAL REPORT: THE GREATEST THREAT TO AMERICA - by Don
Some will tell you the biggest threat to America is corporate greed. Others tell you assuredly that it is the decay of moral values. Then there's our shape-shifting reptilian overlords, manipulative cabals of financial and political power on the murky sidelines, pulling all the puppet strings. And don't forget the aliens: relentlessly cavity-probing us...
GRAVEL PIT OF DREAMS - by Marz
Don has to keep Auggie and Zinny out of The Pit!!! They're so old they can't get back up!! They get stuck in there!! One time Zinny got stuck in the sand and couldn't get back up, so we all had to go down and wade through a bunch of smelly, green, scum water...
A SARCASTIC PRIMER IN SARCASM - by Don
Email your very own responses to all 20 scenarios herein for a chance to win a $50 Gift Certificate to Two Salty Dogs Pet Outfitters. Responses will be gauged mostly on whether or not you are subscribed to our monthly newsletter, sarcasm, creativity, understanding of the English language, sarcasm, and obsequiousness. And sarcasm.
A WEE NY TEST - by Don (Repost)
After reading this delightful Manhattan Socialite’s hilarious send up of Maine, I got to thinking mayhap a Mainer should respond in kind to the waves and waves of sophisticated and culturally aware New Yorkers inundating our fair shores every summer. That’s when I got to work creating “The Test.” It is a free, simple,...
DO LITTLE DREAMS - by Marz
Don is my very best friend!! He talks to me all the time!! If I had one wish from the Great Black Dog, it would be that we could understand each other all the time!!! I think he talks about some interesting stuff!! Post-Breakfast Prattle Don: “These tariffs are going to make our Toy...
SKIBIDI - by Zinny
I'm Zinnia. Mmmm... Hmmmm... Like I'm only writing this because Liana said I had to. Don't come at me if there's lots of typos. I hate skool. Skool is for Spastic Nerfdogs. I'm Zinnia, the new dog at Chez Salty, mmm-hmmm. I'm the ONLY girl dog, AND I'm the ONLY yellow dog. That's a...
THE SCIENCE OF ARTHROPODS, METEOROLOGISTS, ALCOHOL, EGGS, ASTHMA, NO ASTHMA, GUTs, AND HOW GREAT YOU ARE – by DON
A longer, less humorous title would be, “The Curious Case of Don Having an Advanced Engineering Degree, But Not Trusting Science.” Or maybe, “Why Science Chaps My Ass- by Don.” There. That’s it. Next year I’m going to put together a drunken spelling bee for April Fools. See if I don’t.Arthropods Since we moved...
MAINE WINTERS ARE THE BEST!!! – by MARZ
IT’S A DOG’S WINTER!I noticed something!!! There’s a LOT more snow in the winter than in the summer! Why is that?!?! Why can’t the snow come in the summer when everything is super hot and swampy!! Snow is very refreshing, even in the winter!! And it’s everywhere! Except inside! Liana never lets it inside!!!...
IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES, IT WAS THE END OF TIMES – by Auggie
A TOOTHY PREAMBLEWELCOME TO THE CHEZ SALTY MEAT GRINDER, YOUNG AUGUSTUSYes, Bipeds. You read it right, or heard it right. ‘Tis my last missive from this staggeringly moribund town. Should I ever need a metaphor for tedium and melancholy, this town shall suffice.Honor this senior, this cancer-surviving dog, and read my last missive. It...