The Harbor Dog Stories
Come on an adventure with the shop dogs of Two Salty Dogs as they spin you a yarn about life as a dog on the Boothbay Harbor waterfront.
BLUEBERRY FIELDS FOREVER – by Don
ATTENTION: I’ve obfuscated just about every place and person’s name in this story to protect those pristine places from nutjobs like you and your lawsuits. So don’t try to find the places I mention, and for the love of Balthazar, please don’t email me if you think you know where one of these dog-friendly...
THE TRAVELING FUDGEBURYS – by Marz
Hi Everyone!Thanks for reading my blog!!! If you send me your blog, I will read it as soon as I can!I think Don got in trouble with the law!!!!! Maybe he stole another Biped’s dinner!! Maybe he bit someone!!! But one day he put me in the truck and he drove and drove forever!...
THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE GRUMPY – by Auggie
Like an old deer pursued by a pack of ravenous jackals in deep snow, I, Augustus Megatron Bulldozer Kingsbury the hunter, officially announce my demotion to the hunted. I share this with you in the hopes one of you hairless, nap-prone apes or fluffer-headed dogs in my pack can protect me from a fate...
MY BEEF WITH TEENS – by Don
I’m going to hammer on a bunch of defenseless, emoji-loving teens this month. Don’t feel sorry for them. They deserve it. And I deserved it when I was a teenager. Here. I’ll just complete the circle of abuse by putting my personal, embarrassing teenage work story first on deck. That way those of you...
SPASTIC, FANTASTIC & ICONOCLASTIC – by Marz
RIGHT FROM THE STARTHi! I’m Marz!! I’m the 2yr & 225 day old Lab at Chez Salty!!! Why is it called Chez Salty?!?!?! I DON’T KNOW!!!! Hahahaha!!!! Do you?! You can tell me!!! I live here!!THIS WENT ON FOR 8 WEEKS!!!I’m a Chocolate Lab!!!! Don says Chocolate Labs taste the best out of all...
TIME IS CRUEL AND SO AM I – By Auggie
Editor’s Note: Despite his age, Auggie has a very fertile imagination.Whereas my previous blogs have been lighthearted, brief, and informative, this blog will unfortunately be dark and reproachful. Prepare yourself however you see fit, Bipeds. I shan’t judge you. Nor do I care in what way you judge me.The brutal passage of time spares...
DID YOU KNOW? DO YOU EVEN CARE? – by Don
I’M RUNNING TO BRING YOU THE TRUTH.Two Salty Dogs Pet Outfitters now brings you a Public Service Announcement we are not qualified to announce in public to “The Public.”Are you discouraged by the amount of disinformation and number of phaked photos that are destroying the Greatest Nation That Ever Graced The Planet Earth (TGNTEGTPE)?...
THE FUDGE DOG COMETH - by Marz
5:15am -- 5:29am - Auggie and I can't get into the bathroom where Liana is because the door is very strong!!! Auggie and I bang on the door with our heads for a long time!!! It's not working!! What if Liana is dead?!?! What if Don is dead too?!!! Who would feed me and...
WHAT I DID FOR THE 2024 TOTAL ECLIPSE - by Little Donny Kingsbury - Age 12
"What's the big deal? When it's all over, all that's going to happen is that Auggie's going to want breakfast again." - Liana Kingsbury, April 8th 2024, going 110mph on I-95 north of Passadumkeag, Maine