The Harbor Dog Stories
Come on an adventure with the shop dogs of Two Salty Dogs as they spin you a yarn about life as a dog on the Boothbay Harbor waterfront.
THE SCIENCE OF ARTHROPODS, METEOROLOGISTS, ALCOHOL, EGGS, ASTHMA, NO ASTHMA, GUTs, AND HOW GREAT YOU ARE – by DON
A longer, less humorous title would be, “The Curious Case of Don Having an Advanced Engineering Degree, But Not Trusting Science.” Or maybe, “Why Science Chaps My Ass- by Don.” There. That’s it. Next year I’m going to put together a drunken spelling bee for April Fools. See if I don’t.Arthropods Since we moved...
MAINE WINTERS ARE THE BEST!!! – by MARZ
IT’S A DOG’S WINTER!I noticed something!!! There’s a LOT more snow in the winter than in the summer! Why is that?!?! Why can’t the snow come in the summer when everything is super hot and swampy!! Snow is very refreshing, even in the winter!! And it’s everywhere! Except inside! Liana never lets it inside!!!...
IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES, IT WAS THE END OF TIMES – by Auggie
A TOOTHY PREAMBLEWELCOME TO THE CHEZ SALTY MEAT GRINDER, YOUNG AUGUSTUSYes, Bipeds. You read it right, or heard it right. ‘Tis my last missive from this staggeringly moribund town. Should I ever need a metaphor for tedium and melancholy, this town shall suffice.Honor this senior, this cancer-surviving dog, and read my last missive. It...
BLUEBERRY FIELDS FOREVER – by Don
ATTENTION: I’ve obfuscated just about every place and person’s name in this story to protect those pristine places from nutjobs like you and your lawsuits. So don’t try to find the places I mention, and for the love of Balthazar, please don’t email me if you think you know where one of these dog-friendly...
THE TRAVELING FUDGEBURYS – by Marz
Hi Everyone!Thanks for reading my blog!!! If you send me your blog, I will read it as soon as I can!I think Don got in trouble with the law!!!!! Maybe he stole another Biped’s dinner!! Maybe he bit someone!!! But one day he put me in the truck and he drove and drove forever!...
THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE GRUMPY – by Auggie
Like an old deer pursued by a pack of ravenous jackals in deep snow, I, Augustus Megatron Bulldozer Kingsbury the hunter, officially announce my demotion to the hunted. I share this with you in the hopes one of you hairless, nap-prone apes or fluffer-headed dogs in my pack can protect me from a fate...
MY BEEF WITH TEENS – by Don
I’m going to hammer on a bunch of defenseless, emoji-loving teens this month. Don’t feel sorry for them. They deserve it. And I deserved it when I was a teenager. Here. I’ll just complete the circle of abuse by putting my personal, embarrassing teenage work story first on deck. That way those of you...
SPASTIC, FANTASTIC & ICONOCLASTIC – by Marz
RIGHT FROM THE STARTHi! I’m Marz!! I’m the 2yr & 225 day old Lab at Chez Salty!!! Why is it called Chez Salty?!?!?! I DON’T KNOW!!!! Hahahaha!!!! Do you?! You can tell me!!! I live here!!THIS WENT ON FOR 8 WEEKS!!!I’m a Chocolate Lab!!!! Don says Chocolate Labs taste the best out of all...
TIME IS CRUEL AND SO AM I – By Auggie
Editor’s Note: Despite his age, Auggie has a very fertile imagination.Whereas my previous blogs have been lighthearted, brief, and informative, this blog will unfortunately be dark and reproachful. Prepare yourself however you see fit, Bipeds. I shan’t judge you. Nor do I care in what way you judge me.The brutal passage of time spares...