The Harbor Dog Stories
Come on an adventure with the shop dogs of Two Salty Dogs as they spin you a yarn about life as a dog on the Boothbay Harbor waterfront.
RETAILERS ANONYMOUS - by Don
"Hi. My name is Don and I've been in retail for 12 years." "Hi Don!" ONE OF THE "GOOD ONES." "I've owned a pet supply store and been exposed to the general public after having a cush, well-compensated engineering job rehabilitating earth dams on the west coast. At that time, I had a wife...
AUGUST ADVICE - by Auggie
Dear Augustus; I am a Golden Retriever and my Bipeds dress me up in just ridiculous thick coats in the winter. Then they shave me in the summer. I look like a fool and I get sunburned! I scratch and scratch and scratch after I'm shaved, but the Bipeds take no notice.
EARNEST RUGBY DOG - by Marz
Hi Everyone!! Thanks for reading my story!! I really like writing and I have a lot of stuff to write about now!! Have you ever been to "Doggy Daycare?!?!?" It's the best!! It's almost as good as 2 feet of snow on a mile-long beach!!! Auggie hates Doggy Daycare! He says it's just a...
MAN BITES DOG AND OTHER CODSWALLOP - by Auggie
Regard me and be warned, Bipeds. I resolve not to be the recipient of your guff, bullroar, hogwash, claptrap, bunk, or other such codswallop. Bipeds pay taxes and get to vote. Bipeds thus control the game and get redress for their many grievances in multiple avenues. I require food to live, and so my...
GOODNIGHT TEDDY SPAGHETTI - by Don
We lost Buddy in 2021, Max in 2022, and now Teddy in 2023. I'm truly sorry to dump another one of these "Dead Dog Stories" on you. Believe me, there's nothing less I'd rather be doing. But I can't let Teddy down. I loved him like I loved all my dogs. HIS FIRST DAY....
EIGHT BEASTS BEHAVING BADLY - by Don
This post is exactly what it sounds like. Let's go through them chronologically, shall we? MAXIMUS GARY vs. HYPER DOG The worst thing Max did was when he was about 3 months old. He ruined a wedding at the Lucerne Inn in Holden, Maine. Long-story short, he bolted through a gap in the drizzle...
WHY BIPEDS CRY - by Marz
SNOW FUN!!! Hi everyone!!!! I'm Marz!! This is my third blog!!! I've got some pretty exciting news!!! Have you ever heard about snow?!?! It's super fun!!! It's white and it's cold and it's THE BEST to run around and fetch in!!!!! Let me tell you all about it!!!!! The other day I woke up...
DOG TREATMENT IN THIS GIMCRACK TOWN - by Auggie
Editor's Note: The opinions, descriptions, ratings, characterizations, insults, malapropisms, and vituperations are the sole province of Augustus Megatron Bulldozer Kingsbury- a dog. Two Salty Dogs Pet Outfitters cannot take responsibility for this atrocity. BOOTHBAY HARBOR IN ITS HEYDAY. I've been held captive in this pathetic appendix of a town for longer than I care...
FUDGIE QUESTIONS - by Don
Marz is the first dog we've had that we are seriously worried about jumping off a balcony after a tennis ball. Or jumping over the shop fence and meeting a fast-moving dump truck. Or hopping the fence and going on a merry little adventure forever. He's also pretty impervious to criticism. Unless you scream...