DOG TREATMENT IN THIS GIMCRACK TOWN - by Auggie
Editor's Note: The opinions, descriptions, ratings, characterizations, insults, malapropisms, and vituperations are the sole province of Augustus Megatron Bulldozer Kingsbury- a dog. Two Salty Dogs Pet Outfitters cannot take responsibility for this atrocity. BOOTHBAY HARBOR IN ITS HEYDAY. I've been held captive in this pathetic appendix of a town for longer than I care...
FUDGIE QUESTIONS - by Don
Marz is the first dog we've had that we are seriously worried about jumping off a balcony after a tennis ball. Or jumping over the shop fence and meeting a fast-moving dump truck. Or hopping the fence and going on a merry little adventure forever. He's also pretty impervious to criticism. Unless you scream...
A WEE NY TEST - by Don
Welcome to Maine! After reading this delightful Manhattan Socialite's hilarious send up of Maine, I got to thinking mayhap a Mainer should respond in kind to the waves and waves of sophisticated and culturally aware New Yorkers inundating our fair shores every summer. That's when I got to work creating "The Test." It is...
VERY OLD AND FETCHING - by Marz
EVERYONE NEEDS A SAFE SPACE Hi! I'm Marz! I'm the new dog at Chez Salty! Sometimes they call me "Fudgie!" Don calls me "The Red Menace!!" I'm one-year old!!! I'm so frickin' old now! Sorry! I didn't mean to swear!! But youth is certainly frickin' fleeting!! I can't even fit in my old Safe...
PSHAW!!! - by Auggie
We live in evil times. You slothful whelps out there hardly know meaning, suffering nor sacrifice from your own butt. You think everything is but little trinkets for your amusement and wonderment. Have you forgotten all the rabid raccoons, skunks, and porcupines we older generation hath fought for your basic freedoms? And what thanks...
HALF JAW SPAGHETTI - by Teddy
[Editor’s Note: We’ve been trying to get Ted to write a blog since we got him in April 2019. He stubbornly refuses. However, we found his diary. He calls his Diary his “Diarrhea."] Dear Diarrhea, I'm sorry it's been so long since I've written. There's been a lot going on here and I'm not...
WEIRD EATIN'S - by Don
Quiet everyone! The blog is starting! THE BLOG IS STARTING!!!! If you own a dog, you've most likely seen them eat just awful, weird, and unexplainable things. I once saw an article about a dog that ate packs of cigarettes. Open or unopened. Then she would vomit them all over the house. When her...
A BRAVE NEW MARZ - by Marz
HI! I'm Marz! I'm the new dog at Chez Salty! It's confusing because they call me Fudgie! Or Fudgebutt! Or Fudgebot! Or KNOCKITOFF!! I don't really pay them a lot of attention! I've been at Chez Salty since I was a pup! That was a long time ago! I didn't even know how to...
GOODBYE MAX - by Don
Maximus Gary Kingsbury was born in Bangor Maine- Friday, May 16, 2008. We had to put him down on Saturday, March 12, 2022 just before noon. He was dying of kidney failure. He was almost 15 years old. He was in more pain than we could bear.