The Harbor Dog Stories
Come on an adventure with the shop dogs of Two Salty Dogs as they spin you a yarn about life as a dog on the Boothbay Harbor waterfront.
DID YOU KNOW? DO YOU EVEN CARE? – by Don
I’M RUNNING TO BRING YOU THE TRUTH.Two Salty Dogs Pet Outfitters now brings you a Public Service Announcement we are not qualified to announce in public to “The Public.”Are you discouraged by the amount of disinformation and number of phaked photos that are destroying the Greatest Nation That Ever Graced The Planet Earth (TGNTEGTPE)?...
THE FUDGE DOG COMETH - by Marz
5:15am -- 5:29am - Auggie and I can't get into the bathroom where Liana is because the door is very strong!!! Auggie and I bang on the door with our heads for a long time!!! It's not working!! What if Liana is dead?!?! What if Don is dead too?!!! Who would feed me and...
WHAT I DID FOR THE 2024 TOTAL ECLIPSE - by Little Donny Kingsbury - Age 12
"What's the big deal? When it's all over, all that's going to happen is that Auggie's going to want breakfast again." - Liana Kingsbury, April 8th 2024, going 110mph on I-95 north of Passadumkeag, Maine
DOG ADVICE FOR BIPEDS - by Auggie
Greetings, miscreants. Welcome to a little spot of sanity in this crazy, crazy world. Consider this a refuge from the harsh realities of the outside world. This is your oasis. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You didn't really believe that, did you? You Bipeds are so stupid and cow-like! In reality, all you thousands of Biped muppets try...
MY BEST FRIEND!!! - by MARZ
HI! I'm Marz! I work at Two Salty Dogs Pet Outfitters!!!! I'm in customer service!! Customer service is a great job!! It's the best!!! I get so many headrubs and bellyrubs!!!! Auggie taught me to hang out at the free treat bowl!!!
CONTEMPORARY BOOTHBAY REGION FOLKLORE FOR DUMMIES - by Don
New England has a rich history of oral traditions dating back to the Cretaceous Extinction. Most of the traditions are bogus and told by old people who have led extremely dull lives and are now suffering from fungal toenail infections. At least that's what I'm led to believe by late night TV commercials and...
AUGUSTUS - LAST OF THE GREATS - by Auggie
I am Augustus Megatron Bulldozer Kingsbury. I am a 12-yr old Black Labrador Retriever from outstanding blood and hip lines. Chances are that my combined SAT score (1600+) is better than yours and your dough-faced, over-privileged children combined. I am a dog. I have seen many spectacular things in my twelve years of life.
THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!!! - By Marz
There's nothing better than eating a smoked pig ear in the warm October sun!!! Maybe eating two smoked pig ears in the warm October sun!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That was a funny joke!!!!!!
MUSTS & CAN'TS - by Don
But "the experts" also said at one time that attaching leeches to someone's private parts would cure them of being phlegmatic. Or was it mercurial? No matter. Just thinking that leeches could cure anyone of anything should tell you that "the experts" are full of black bile and little demons scratching to get out...