The Harbor Dog Stories
Come on an adventure with the shop dogs of Two Salty Dogs as they spin you a yarn about life as a dog on the Boothbay Harbor waterfront.
THE EVIL VETS - by Auggie
You should know that for this Blog I originally proposed booking a flight to one of those primitive countries what delight in eating dogs. Then my plan was to stalk, hunt, kill, and eat a Dog-Eating Biped on Facebook Live. Don't be so shocked. It is only a murder if it is Biped on...
WHACKJOB INVICTUS - by Auggie
Don has taken a lot of flak since he started writing the segment "We Love Hate Mail!" He has been banned from the Pen Bay Pilot newspaper from running ads, had numerous interactions on "Social Media" with people who think he hates tourists, and people have sent emails calling him a hypocritical clod for...
THE AUGMENTOR COMETH - by Auggie
[Editor's note: Auggie tore his right ACL tendon and damaged his left this spring. He was in a lot of pain when it happened. Instead of surgery, Liana and I opted to enroll him in physical therapy and alternative treatments. You should know that Auggie also has a very vivid imagination.] Those of you...
SLOUCHING TOWARDS EDGECOMB - by Auggie
I was dragged back to a room where I was subjugated. Against my most ardent protestations, my front-left leg was shaved. "I AM AN AMERICAN DOG CITIZEN! I HAVE RIGHTS! I bellowed out into the reverberating concrete anteroom. "I DO NOT CONSENT!! I WANT MY LAWYER!!"I screamed as they slipped the IV into my...
ZUCKERSTRUCK - by Auggie
How do you do, you lugubrious swine? Shall I display to you the enormous sweep of my influence? Swallow the last of your warm, spittle-infused canned beer and refrain from asking questions until I direct you that such questions are welcome. Anything less would waste my valuable time. August 22nd, 2020 Two Salty Dogs...
VETTING THE VETS - by Auggie
Salutations, depraved quislings. Be seated. That is an order. When I heard we were going to "The Vets" the other day, I thought I would spend the day at a local VFW, drinking cheap beer with the heroes of our nation. Nothing could have been further from the truth. No doubt you have heard...
ODYSSEY - by Auggie
Good Day, Malingerers. This is a long one. Don’t start it if you cannot finish it. I was given no warning. Don brought me to the truck and bade me inside. I thought we were going to the local park for Walkies and mayhap a treat for afters. As there were none of the...
J'ACCUSE - by Auggie
J'Accuse - "I accuse." A bitter denunciation. I should start by saying that my last blog was a resounding triumph in Canine Literature. Normally, my blogs are hungrily received and widely acclaimed by the top critics of the land. I have heard tell that my last blog caused several prominent critics to completely explode...
ASK AUGUSTUS - by Auggie
Good Day, you drunken gadabouts. I am often unfairly criticized for being too harsh. However, in the interests of ceasing your incessant e-prattle, I am now going to answer questions submitted by you - the confused and chunky canine hordes of America. I do this without anger and in the genuine hopes of helping...