The Harbor Dog Stories
Come on an adventure with the shop dogs of Two Salty Dogs as they spin you a yarn about life as a dog on the Boothbay Harbor waterfront.
PUCKER UP DEAD-NOSES - by Auggie
I am Augustus, ruler of all things Canine. You're welcome. Now, before I get into my obligatory contribution for this paltry newsletter, I must make one thing absolutely, perfectly, crystal clear. I did not have relations with that wiener dog. I have fought off these types of assaults before. As if the mere suggestion...
FASHION SHOWS AND MASHED POTATOES - by Auggie
I am Emperor Augustus, your Canine Lord and Master. I can be benevolent or malevolent. Your attitude towards me will determine what attitude you shall receive from me. Thanks a lot, Deadnoses. One of you ratted me out and ruined my dreams and ambitions of taking over this rotten pack in a single email....
BLITZKRIEG BIRTHDAY MANIFESTO - by Auggie
I am Augustus Megatron Bulldozer. If you do exactly as I say, EXACTLY...... you may stand a chance of leaving Boothbay Harbor alive this summer. As so many of you know, my birthday is on July 5th. I will be turning four in dog years, but in human years I'll be turning 28 -...
WONDER NOT, GENTLE SUBURBANITE - by Auggie
My Name is Augustus. My friends may call me "Auggie" or "Aug Dog." Only my most intimate acquaintances may call me "Auggie Doggie." You most certainly may NOT call me "Hoggie" or "Hog Dog." And "Hawggie Dawggie" is out of the question. There will be grave consequences should you cross that line. You know...
AUGGIE'S REIGN DEER OF TERROR - by Auggie
I am Augustus. You should address me as such. See that you do in future, and your past transgressions shall be forgotten. My intention was to write a heartwarming account of the "True Meaning of Christmas" using the adopt-o-dogs Buddy and Coal as my pity-vehicles because the Christmas topic has never been satisfactorily addressed....
BREAK AWAY FROM BEING "FROM AWAY" - by Auggie
My first name is Augustus. My middle name is Megatron. My Surname is Bulldozer. I am Auggie. You must yield to me. I will protect you. Now, I'm a practical dog. I like my treats hearty, my walks long, and my breath stinky at all times. I have no time for pretension. And I...
FALL DOWN, CLEAN UP - by Auggie
I am Augustus Megatron Bulldozer. You may know me as "Auggie" or "Aug Dog." I am the anchor for this whole train wreck of a store. Thank you for supporting my reform efforts. As you may know, the coast of Maine is much more relaxed now that all you tourists are safely home and...
BOOTHBAY HARBOR MUTT SCRUB 2014 - by Auggie
I am Augustus Megatron Bulldozer. Most of you respectfully call me Auggie, Aug, or Aug Dog. Don calls me Hog Dog or Seagull (Editor's Note: Because if he had wings he'd fly to all the restaurants and fight the seagulls for the french fries in the parking lot). He shan't have that sense of...
BOOTHBAY HARBOR MUTT SCRUB 2013 - by Auggie
I am Aug. This is my dog blog. Yes. I like the ring to that…. Aug’s Dog Blog. Well, what do you know? First of all, “thank you” to my loyal followers who alerted me that my pack-mates have been calling me “Seagull” behind my back. Don started this insolence, and says it’s because...